We will soon be leaving for Portland. I'm ready and packed. The kids and many friends have spent time with me over the last few days in preparation for this. I imagine I've gathered up all the love sent my way in a blanket and wrapped myself in it. I feel so forcefully surrounded by prayers and well wishes. It is true that I believe in prayer and that many people want me to do well. I've never been more aware of how others think of me. I treasure all my relationships.
"We are most alive in those moments, when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." Thornton Wilder
"Love this moment, and the energy of the moment will spread beyond all boundaries." Corita Kent
"Life, even in the hardest times, is full of moments to savor. They will not come this way again, not in this way." Paula Rinehart
The CT Scan showed some tumor growth in the left lung and a new nodule in the lung. It commented on bone metastases in the hip, pelvis and back. It showed that the Octreotide has not completely kept all tumors from growing, which is disappointing. On the other hand the tumors continue to be very slow growing and very small. The lung nodules were 3 and 5 mm. There is some evidence that removal of the primary (which is what we are doing in tomorrows surgery) slows the growth of tumors.
Even with this somewhat disappointing news I fell joyful for life and grateful for all that I have. Illness can make you take stock of what you have and what you would loose if you transitioned out of this life now. I am amazed at what I have discovered since taking stock of all that I have and how absolutely wonderful my life has been and is right now. I have had a very good life. I have loved and been loved. I am secure in this moment with the knowing that I will be all right, what ever happens.
"Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are". Marianne Williamson
"Abundance is something we acquire. It is something we tune into." Wayne Dyer
"If the world is to be healed through human effort, I am convinced it will be by ordinary people, people whose love for this life is greater than their fear. People who can open to the web of life that called us into being, and who can rest in the vitality of that larger body". Joanna Macy
"The Universe Funds me with Strength
In times of adversity, I remember I am equal to every situation, a match for every difficulty. Sourced in the power of the Universe, I allow that power to work through me. I meet calamity with strength. I have stamina. Rather than draw on limited resources, I draw on the infinite power within me that moves me to accomplish its good. I am fueled by all the love, all the strength there is. Loving strength melts mountains. I am ever partnered and supplied by Universal flow. Knowing this, I do not doubt my strength. I am strong and secure". Julia Cameron
Thank you for all the support. I will ask Peter to post how I'm doing following the surgery.
Happily grateful,
Caryn
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